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Post by Stephen Crosby on Jun 9, 2016 16:54:56 GMT -5
Defenders #1 by Meriades Rai
Meriades Rai is writing something, and all is right in the world. His setting Patsy Walker in Paris is sublime, appreciating bad weather in a beautiful city through a song she learned to appreciate after an uncomfortable period of time. Heh, I love that description, as it implies Patsy enjoyed comfortable times in that place, which she probably has, with her husband.
It’s the little bits that make this story. The small moments that delve into the history of weird that was the New Defenders and their members. To hell with the sliding timeline, Patsy always dressed the way she did and was famous for it. The momentary ambiguity of just which is the glamour for Stephen Strange. The shift between almost-romance in Paris to quiet horror.
What actually happens in the story could maybe fill a page, but Meriades fills it with atmosphere that closes over you like a warm raincoat on a dreary night. The next time I read this, maybe when the second story is released but likely sooner, I shall have a nice red in hand.
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Post by fairchild on Jun 9, 2016 18:53:51 GMT -5
To tag on a review with what Mr. Crosby stated above, for those that know Meriades work we all know he can write. Defenders issue 1 was exceptional and everything I expect from Meri, as such it was the first thing I read from the releases. Being that I have not written in awhile, Meri always provides a good template of structure that need reminding. Especially when to use "..." or "-" to break up a thought. If you could remind me once again that would be great.
Like any other Meri story, he uses words for description, description, description. Your wording of Patsy first on the foyer was great. Gargoyle's build up to his revelation was another. I do not know if Meri is involved in the DC crossover, but did anyone else sort of see DC's Crimson Fox a little since it was in Paris? Sometimes when people take on side projects it will leak into other stories intentionally or not.
For just the common reader, it is a build up issue which most first issues tend to be.
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Post by Stephen Crosby on Jun 9, 2016 19:11:38 GMT -5
I may be wrong, but I generally use "..." when a speaker trails off mid-sentence, like they're searching for a word. "-" is for an interruption, such as getting shot just before you could reveal the killer's name.
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Post by fairchild on Jun 9, 2016 20:58:57 GMT -5
thank you
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Post by Meriades Rai on Jun 10, 2016 10:15:17 GMT -5
Thanks guys!
I haven't written much of anything in about two years now, so this was tough going. When exchanging emails with David I likened it to trying to flex a muscle I hadn't used for a long time, or going to the gym after a prolonged period of just sitting around eating donuts.
For the most part I was forcing the writing out, and reading back through the issue you can really see that in places. I'm glad the sensual side of Patsy in Paris came through, but it's completely right that nothing much actually happened, which was always a pitfall for me even back when I was writing regularly. That's something I needed to hear, because it'll remind me to kick it up a gear in subsequent issues.
Stuart, I remember Crimson Fox from Justice League Europe back in the 90s! I hadn't even considered her when writing this issue, but now you've mentioned it, I can totally see that. Maybe there's something about 'French-ness', especially with certain female characters. Maybe I've just got France on the brain just now, because the football Euro Championships kick off tonight...
Steve's right, an ellipsis (...) generally indicates a trailing off, or a hesitation, in dialogue especially or as a pause for dramatic effect. A hyphen immediately following a word (for example, "Wait! Don't step on that-") indicates an interruption. But shouldn't be confused with hyphens that break up a sentence - like this - which is more a personal/stylistic thing, and just indicates a sharper, briefer 'sidestep' in the middle of a descriptive sentence that commas sometimes can't achieve to the same effect.
Semi-colons are the most difficult of all, because they're completely stylistic only. You could remove semi-colons from the English language and it wouldn't matter, as you can bridge connective sentences in other ways, either by a hyphen or by a full stop. But I think they're groovy, so I end up using far, far too many...
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